Look, you’re just gonna have to live with my terrible attempts at jokes and foolery here ok.
I’m like a couple days in on my 2 month mark but I finally remembered to take 5 and actually do a funky little update. Mostly I was talking to my hairdresser and feeling pretty cool about being on T and being in the transboy club idk. He’s a cool dude and his kindness really got me thinking about T in the first place. ANYWAY.///
ALRIGHT. LETS GET WITH THAT LIST:
We’ll start with a quick rapid-fire:
- MIGRAINES — Same, haven’t had a real bad one since I started on T.
- ACNE — Yeah, same as before. Its there but not insurmountable.
- BOTTOM GROWTH — still goin
- LIBIDO — maybe i’m getting used to it but it’s definitely calmed down.
- SMELL — still stinky.
PERIOD — I might have missed this month? Haven’t synced with my partner this time. Didn’t get cramps when I usually ovulate like I usually do (those ones are a bitch, too) so tentative skipped this month–but as I mentioned, I was never really regular.
STRENGTH — muscles are starting to show heheh~ But I have to start being a bit careful with how much weight and how good my form is going forward because I did pinch something in my upper back that’s been a real frustration to deal with lately. It’s manageable but ough.;;
BODY HAIR — HMM. Well. I wasn’t expecting it but its starting to a bit. I apply the gel on my stomach and I was curious going in if that meant I’d see body hair in the place its being applied. It’s definitely showing up a little more, I always had a bit of fluff, i think its just more pronounced now.
VOICE — I didn’t want to get my hopes up but my voice is totally the thing I was hoping would change and wouldn’t you know it’s already really started 2 months in. I still sound like me, but different? My partner’s noted more than once that I’m getting a little crunchy (hi tas <3) which is juuuuust ough <3 Yay!
Honestly didn’t expect to have so much to say so early on. I’m glad? I’m a bit scared. Here’s where a lot of the changes, while I’m personally enjoying them, are going to start to get weirder reactions from outside…
My mom’s already starting to imply (wrongly) that my surge of confidence is a newfound aggression triggered by my use of testosterone gel…it’s a bit heartbreaking to watch and listen to someone so completely misunderstand you.
My family is always a bit of a sore spot when it comes to this. As mentioned in a previous update, my pronouns are not respected even remotely. I know its a point of weird stubbornness with my dad, and a major embarrassment to my mom to have to even explain any of this to anyone. I’ve been out as nonbinary for 6 years, to them specifically (almost a decade now to friends). I’ve been going by “they” for that long… now I’m happy with the use of either neutral or masculine pronouns.
I guess to anyone reading this out of some curiosity who also struggles with using correct pronouns… 6 years isn’t making mistakes anymore. 6 years is choosing to set your comfort above the person you allegedly care about. Correct pronouns aren’t optional. Just use them. Always. Not just when this person is in your line of sight.
Idk. Its a pretty fucked world out there for a lot of us right now. I’m trying to make it seem less scary. I’m hoping posts like this demystify it for folks who are curious. Idk. Just.
If you can do better…. do better.
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