I’m being clever–is it working? Does this make sense? Probably not.
Okay well it’s been a couple days over one month (i’d have done it sooner if I didn’t have a con starting Friday when it was my forreal 1-month anniversary so you’re getting it now).
If anyone is even reading this. Lol.
LET’S see~ This is gonna get TMI as usual so if you’re easily irked out by it or just don’t wanna hear about this stuff, your loss but maybe skip these posts.
1 month on Testo and I’m noticing:
VOICE — YOU might not notice a difference but I sure do. I feel my voice sitting more comfortably on lower notes than it used to and I’m struggling to hit higher notes. Speaking LOUD (like at the con this weekend) meant that sometimes my voice broke from the strain. It wasn’t too noticeable from the outside but my instrument sure is feeling weird from the inside.
ACNE — so far its like… around. But not much more than usual. Apparently its not the most normal getting acne around your period (which I usually do) and suggests maybe my androgen levels were too high before so testo is doing a good job of like evening things out. Admittedly my brother didn’t get too much during his puberty so I was pretty sure I wasn’t gonna get hit TOO hard. Seems I was right~
STRENGTH — I don’t LOOK too different but since being on testo–my strength at the gym (upper-body wise) feels different. I feel like things that used to strain me I do with less struggle. I went up on a couple of my weights. My cardio… wow… okay so originally my cardio was rough heartrate-wise. I was easily hitting 186 if i pushed a bit too hard… now my HR hits maybe about 179-180 if I’m REALLY pushing. My cool-down HR also drops much more easily toward 135 vs my previous 159. Significant differences. It feels good ngl!
MIGRAINES — barring my period which was a bit of a mess and was mostly due to long hours and little sleep… wow… uhhh yeah maybe if you get migraines ask your doctor about hormonal changes in your body. Testo is doing wonders for me on that front. I don’t even feel like i might MAYBE get one for pushing myself too hard. My mom’s on a different hormone treatment for her’s and it seems to be going well, too. Bodies, amirite.
LIBIDO — god fuck almighty. Okaaaay. I heard about this going in and my dumbass brain was like, ‘thats cool but IM different’ turns out I’m not. I can look at images that used to give me the ‘in theory this is super hot and I’m into it but I’m not getting off to this’ to: ‘haha wow tiddies //hard’ like a real fucking boy–so where’s the nearest private spot i can jerk one out real quick so I’m not driving my partner fucking crazy.
BOTTOM GROWTH — haha well its something alright.. way faster than I anticipated. It made THIS period… an event. Having pads brushing up against that all weekend at the con was soooo funnnn~ (god)
PERIOD — ironically this is the first time my partner and I synced up. It felt a bit like a last hurrah. I’m already generally not regular at all, this one came in like a whirlwind and was pretty much done as fast as it started. I know some dudes their period was gone within a month of T… but I also know sometimes it can take longer. //shrug. It’s not something that necessarily makes me dysphoric… but man it would certainly be nice not to have to bother with it ever again LMAO.
No change on body hair, losing or gaining or otherwise, likewise… my body still feels kinda the same? But those are both changes that get affected over considerable time.
Mood? Well I’m feeling great. My mental health is steady and just fine. I find that my focus is sharper lately but that’s probably because I’m just happier overall haha. It’s going to feel amazing when a lot of these internal changes start becoming more visible… with the caveat that my family still struggles with my pronouns and using the wrong ones haha. Rip. It’s been 6 years now and the occasional slip is disheartening but whatever. Its not about them.
Anyway. I started writing a memoir. Its… cathartic. Idk how much I’ll actually post/print/publish when it comes time, for now its just a project for me.